My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
