that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
someone owes me an orgasm
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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