that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
