I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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