I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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