just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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