i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
