some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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