So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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