I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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