You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
