if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
