I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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