i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
