I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
