so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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