it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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