when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
