I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Randomize
