I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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