i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
