Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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