have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
