Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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