OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
