Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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