where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
