I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
