That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
