I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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