I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
