my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
