I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
is wine microwaveable?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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