I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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