rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
