it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
