we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
