I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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