I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
