it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
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we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
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Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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