Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
