The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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