I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
