We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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