How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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