and she was petting her beer can
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
