so explain again why im purple
no
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
