I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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