Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Bring me that man meat
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
