Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
