i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think your dad took our porno
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
