omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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