it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
