Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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