Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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