I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
