Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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