on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
