And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
