let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
