When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
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Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
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I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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