so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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