mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Randomize