The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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