ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
