when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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