I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"