Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
BRING THE BAGELS
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped