Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie