I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016