it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.